1. Less time spent conducting parental
research.
I wish I
could have gotten paid for the amount of time I have spent researching
child-related topics. Before they’re even born, I spent hours on Consumer Reports searching out the best
crib, car seat, etc and then there is an immense amount of things to choose such
as a birthing center, pediatrician and daycare. You, hopefully, get all of
these things resolved before the baby comes and you get a break from research
mode. And you do get to focus on the baby instead of researching the different
colors and textures of baby poop, right? Before you know it, a new stage comes
and you realize you have absolutely no idea how to introduce solids or begin
the potty training process. With the next child; the crib and car seat are handed
down and this baby is going to go to the same doctors and schools. As crazy at
it seems, this opens up a fair amount of free time. Number 2 may not get as much one on one time with mom and dad, but we’re also not spending hours on
research and trying to learn that size 3 month baby clothes typically fit a
baby under 3 months old.
2. More TV time.
No matter
what amount of television your first child watches, chances are, your second
child is going to watch more. My first didn’t watch much TV at all until her
sister was born. During my maternity leave, I let my toddler watch Sesame
Street every morning. This was for my survival. And theirs. You can hold off on
TV for a while, but once it’s introduced, it’s not as easy to take it away. So,
the younger child is getting far more doses of screen time and at a younger
age. And I am quite sure as she watches Frozen for the hundredth time, she is
quite happy about this.
3. Sweet treats.
When we went
trick-or-treating with our first when she was 1 year old we went to a few neighbors’ houses
and collected a little candy. For a couple nights, my toddler got to enjoy them
and then the rest magically disappeared. This does not go over so easily with a
3 year old. She knew she went to more houses and she wants the goods! And when the
3 year old is demanding the M&Ms she worked so hard to get, you know the
little sibling is going to do the same. Again, you’re not going to hear any
complaints from the child as the chocolate is running down her face.
4. More enrichment activities.
These can be
as simple as home-made crafts or helping with meal prep. Once the older child
is doing these exciting activities, the younger child doesn’t want to be left
out of this fun. And for this, I became eternally thankful for washable paints.
5. More night-time snuggles.
We did a
little time “crying it out” with our first child. I also made absolute certain
to put her straight to bed as soon as she was finished with her last feed of
the day (because I fed into the belief that I might spoil her at bedtime and
she would never be able to go to sleep on her own if I rocked her to sleep). With our second, I was
terrified that the baby’s cries would wake her older sibling and then we would
have two tired, screaming children on our hands. So when those cries began to
escalate, there was no hesitation in holding, hushing and rocking her. Anything
to make sure big sis stayed snoozing. I was also much less afraid of spoiling
my littlest baby. I figured they’re only small enough to hold in your lap for
so long and if I did spoil her, I would work through that later. I have spent
endless hours just snuggling my sleeping baby (and now toddler) and I have no
regrets.
6. A little more confidence.
No matter how
prepared I thought I was with all that research I mentioned, it didn’t quite
prepare me for parenthood. I wasn’t totally lacking for confidence but, like
many parents, I wasn’t always certain I was doing it right. Okay, I’m still not
certain I’m doing it right. And I know I’m definitely not doing it all right
all of the time. But, at least the second time around, I have an idea of this
parenting thing and I have begun to learn what might work and what definitely does
not work for our family.
It might be
true that the second child mostly has hand-me-down clothes that are covered in
stains made by their older sibling, you are constantly calling the child by the
wrong name and there are a few hundred less pictures and videos. But the second
child really does have some pretty awesome advantages.
What did I miss? What are some other
advantages of not being a first born?
