The things you never knew you would say...

I'm sorry it upsets you, but I'm going to take that piece of cardboard box out of your mouth.

Please don't drink milk out of your bib.

Your toy barn is NOT a ride-on toy! (this would be the Fisher Price Barn)

That's not nice to your milk cup.

No, we don't eat bugs...

...Or mud.

...Or the watermelon rind.

...Because it's not food!

Make sure you don't pee on the floor.

Don't drink the bath water!

Stop dragging your sister!

Don't put egg in your cup!

I can't turn the rain off.

I don't care how loud you scream, I'm not going to let you eat the sanitizer bottle.

It's a mole...it's a mole...it's still a mole. (If you have any moles you know what this is about!)

Be careful not to put your elbow in your plate...aww, you already did!

You're not going to be hungry for dinner if you fill up on cat fur and battery acid. 

And most commonly heard at our house:

Don't lick your sister.

And other variations:

Don't lick the cat.

...or the mirror.

...or the [airplane] window.

...or the seat. [in the lobby]

...or ME!!

And a couple my parents said to me but I didn't understand until I had my own:

I love you too, more than you will ever know!

I love you so much, it truly hurts!

Making sure she gets every last bite - down to the rind!

I would love to hear some of the unexpected things you've said to your kids too! Please share!