The First Weaning Story (Part II)

Welcome back to my first weaning story! Click here to see Part I.

During my daughter's first year, she was receiving two bottles of expressed milk per day at daycare and getting breast fed 3 other times. Yes, only getting breast milk 5 times per day.  This does see low but she was growing and thriving and remained in the 90th percentile, so it was definitely enough! 

After my daughter turned 1, we were done with the pump but not done with nursing. 

Since my supply was getting less and less for 2 months prior to my daughter's first birthday I really couldn't get rid of the pump quickly enough. I introduced my daughter to cow's milk soon after she turned 1. I did this by replacing one of her bottles of expressed breast milk with 3 ounces of cow's milk in a sippy cup. My daughter had already had practice with water in a sippy cup and she rarely turns down any food or drink so this was no issue at all.

Even though I had used a lot of my frozen milk supply in the last month, I was extremely fortunate to still have some left. I was able to still give my baby one bottle of expressed breast milk in her bottle while she was transitioning to cow's milk. I continued this until my frozen supply was depleted. This took a couple of weeks so we were fortunate to have no issues transitioning to a 2nd sippy cup of cow's milk to replace the bottle. 

One month after I stopped pumping I decided I was ready to see if we could stop our morning nursing session, our first feed of the day. I had been waking up in the 4 a.m. hour for over a year to nurse for 40 minutes and I was so very tired. I actually had to wake my daughter to nurse her. I would nurse 20 minutes on each side and then put her back in her crib. My husband would then get her ready for daycare after I left for the day. So, I just didn’t wake her. I don’t love that I actively weaned the morning feed. But I also believe a mother’s health is important and stopping that morning feed so I could get a little more sleep was something I needed to do to keep myself healthy. My daughter never woke up, never asked for it. I never had to tell her no and I had no engorgement. I was happy to not have any issues which certainly helped with dropping this nursing session.

At 13 months of age that left my daughter only nursing twice a day. Right after I got off work and before bed. Except for that week I took off work to celebrate Christmas. She started nursing 5 times a day again, just like she used to when she was under 1. It was pretty wonderful, actually. We were home together and having lots of snuggles. If she asked to nurse, we nursed. I loved every minute and I'm pretty sure she did too.

In fact, it was that week that I took a pregnancy test. I laid the test on the side of the tub and then my daughter asked to nurse. Forgetting about the test, I started nursing her. After a few minutes I told her to hang on and ran upstairs to find a big positive! I came back downstairs and sat down to continue nursing. My 1 year old daughter, completely unprompted, lifted my shirt and kissed my belly. I was blown away. Of course, I hadn't told her. I had just learned seconds earlier. We were trying for a second child, but I didn't expect to succeed on our first try so I was reeling from the surprise. This little connection between myself and my two babies made me know it was going to be okay, no matter how anxious I was feeling in that moment.

We had a wonderful Christmas and I returned to work the next week. My daughter returned to her previous nursing sessions of immediately after work and before bed. However, only a couple of days into the week she didn't ask for milk when I went to pick her up at daycare. I felt a little sad but I thought she would ask the next day. She didn't. At 14 months, almost exactly 1 month after we dropped the morning nursing session, my daughter weaned herself from another. In fact, outside of that week during Christmas, once my daughter dropped a nurse she never once returned to wanting to nurse during an old time. 

I cherished my night time nurse with my daughter, as it was now the only time she was nursing. I was thankful to not have any pain while nursing during pregnancy. It did seem that something was changing with my milk though. I know now that pregnancy can cause significant decreases in supply and taste changes. I didn't necessarily realize that at that time.

One night, when my daughter was just about a week shy from turning 15 months old, she didn't ask to nurse. Since she didn't ask, I didn't offer. I read her a book, rocked her, sang to her and laid her in her crib. I went downstairs. My husband gave me a questioning look, surprised to see me downstairs so quickly. "She didn't ask" I said and I cried. I expected her to ask tomorrow.

She didn't.

She didn't ask the next day either. It was hard. I thought maybe I should have offered. I should have made sure she was ready to be done. But I had decided if she didn't ask then she was telling me she was done. 

We had a great journey. Just under 15 months. But I was still sad. I enjoyed nursing her and she enjoyed nursing so much. It was hard to believe this journey had ended. I had another baby growing inside of me, though. I knew that baby would be born in 7 months and nurse too. I think that was the easiest way for me to accept that my first nursing journey had ended. Gently and sweetly.

I would love to hear your weaning story! I'm accepting submissions for guest blog posts of your story of gently weaning your little one. Please send an e-mail to sweetandhappygirls@gmail.com with your post submission!

 

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The First Weaning Story (Part I)

When I was pregnant with my first baby I decided my goal was to nurse for at least one year without supplementing with infant formula. (If this was not your goal, please don't think I am judging you. This was just my personal goal.) I went to a breastfeeding class offered by my hospital but they teach about initiating breastfeeding. No one ever seems to talk about weaning; how it happens, why it happens, what to expect. And just as pregnancy and birth are very unique to each woman, so it weaning. This is my first weaning story.

I technically began weaning at 6 months when I introduced solids. Nothing really changed at this point because my baby didn’t change the amount she was nursing during this time. This was intentional since I knew all my baby needed for that first year was breast milk and I was relatively cautious about giving her too much table food because I didn’t want to take any risk of it affecting my milk supply.

When my baby was around 10 months old though I began to notice that my milk supply while pumping was dramatically decreasing. This didn’t initially present a problem because I had previously been pumping twice the amount of milk my baby was taking in her bottles at daycare. So at this point, I was just pumping the amount she needed daily which really didn’t seem like a problem at all. I was actually saving time but not having to freeze so much milk. (And I would certainly call having to take the time to freeze extra milk a good problem to have.)

Throughout the next month my supply continued to drop, though. I tried my best to continue with at least her daily demand. But at that time, I was a nurse working in an intensive care unit. My pumping times were getting pushed back later and later and my time spent pumping was getting shorter and shorter. Around the time my baby was 11 months old I realized that it was taking 2 pumping sessions to pump what I would typically get in 1. And this was still not enough to feed my baby. I went to my deep freezer and counted each and every package of milk I had so carefully frozen. I had enough to feed her one bottle of frozen milk a day for the next month. I decided to take a risk and I dropped to only one pumping session during my 10 hours away from my baby. My baby only took 2 bottles at daycare so one would be fresh, one frozen. I knew dropping to one pump was a huge risk. But I simply could not afford to take the time away from my job duties to pump twice for the same amount of milk I could yield in one pumping session. And I counted my blessings that I had a huge stock in my freezer.

I just needed to get through one more month of pumping once a day. I know this plan could have gone badly. I could have lost the ability to pump any milk at all during my time at work. I was worried about it, for sure, but at the same time, I was confident I would make it to a year. I had made it to 11 months and had such a short time left to go.

I won’t pretend that I didn’t sigh a huge sigh of relief when my daughter reached her first birthday. We had made it. We made it to a year. Despite working full time and having some definite supply issues, we had made it! And, yes, I was happy to have succeeded. But I may have been even happier to know that I was done with that pump! I desperately wanted to treat my pump the way they treat the copy machine in Office Space. Instead, I spent hours sanitizing and storing each pumping part, bottle and nipple and then carefully packed them away. I jokingly told my husband at the time that I told the pump as I was packing it away ‘Good-bye for now, I will see you again in 9 months.’ Little did we know, this wasn’t too far from the truth as I was, indeed, pregnant one month later.

But this is not the end of my first weaning story. It is only the end of my first pumping story. Since my expressed milk supply had been diminishing over the last two months I had absolutely no trouble with engorgement after stopping that final pump. When she turned 1 we were done with the pump, but not with nursing.

Be sure to come back soon to read Part II of the first weaning story on  the series of Gently Weaning from Mommy's Milk.

I would love to hear your weaning story! I'm accepting submissions for guest blog posts of your story of gently weaning your little one. Please send an e-mail to

 You can also subscribe by e-mail from the main page and have posts 

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I Nurse My Toddler Because

I recently came across Wendy Wisner's wonderful blog. Wendy has a beautiful way of describing motherhood and I was moved when I came across her post I Nurse Him Because, in which she describes the reasons she nurses her toddler son. While the entire post was great, what really struck me was this statement: This is what feels right to us, and many more mothers and children than you might expect.

When I thought about that, I couldn't help to think how true a statement that likely is. I, myself, have found out mothers I know personally had nursed their toddlers, but at the time, I had no idea. What's most interesting to me is that I consider myself a breastfeeding advocate, someone who openly talks about breastfeeding and the normalization of nursing. When my children were under a year old I definitely spoke very openly about nursing. It was occurring quite frequently so the topic would naturally come up. I also talked openly about pumping at work, proudly placing my expressed milk in the public refrigerator. I nursed in public, sometimes with a cover but most of the time, without.

When my daughter was under two, I still talked about nursing her but much less often. Maybe that's just because I was nursing less often? I’m not sure. I might say something about being glad she was still nursing because I was able to calm her down with my milk after having to give her a breathing treatment when she was wheezing. Or I would mention my anxiety about going out of town without my child and not nursing during that time, concerned about how she would do. Once she was over one year old I only nursed at home or at the homes of close family and friends. Never out in the true public but this was mostly because she was no longer nursing when we would be out during the day.

Now, my daughter is almost two and a half. And I rarely, if ever, talk about the fact that she's still nursing. If it comes up in conversation or if someone asks I will, of course, still talk about it. But not much more than that. I did write about it on my blog in my post For the Last 5 Years but I didn't even share that post on my personal Facebook page. It's not at all that I'm ashamed of it. I guess it's just not something our culture entirely accepts and I have no desire to feel judged for something that I feel is completely natural and normal.

However, the world can't know it's completely natural and normal if it's not ever seen or discussed. So, this post is motivated by Wendy's words about her reasons for nursing her toddler and my acknowledgment that nursing a toddler is happening more than you might think.

I nurse my toddler because...

She asks. Each night, right before bed. She used to say "mil! mil!" and now it's "I want mommy's milk." Sometimes I will ask her if she would like to just snuggle instead and she says "no, milky."

I can. I am so fortunate to still be able to nurse as I know very well that many women have struggles that don't allow them to nurse to their goal. I surpassed any goals I may have had and I feel fortunate that I can still nurse.

When she falls asleep while nursing she looks exactly the same today as she did on the day she was born.

In the busy, loud and distracting world we live in I am able to slow down and connect with her in this way that only I can.

She still likes to be held and snuggled a lot. I can't help but think that if we didn't have our extra snuggle time together at bedtime nursing she may want to be held even more during the day. She then might miss out on some of that independent play time where she can just be a wacky little toddler.

It's warm and cozy and makes us both happy.

In a way, it makes me feel like I am stopping time, if only for a short moment each evening while we are together.

I can ask her what it tastes like and she can respond with answers such as bana, pea soup, pancakes (sometimes blueberry flavored) or "just milky." Whatever she answers, it makes me laugh and she, in turn, laughs too.

I can remember a time when her tiny, little body was brand new and her arms, legs and fists were still curled up tightly and her whole body laid right at my rib cage. Now, her legs are long and stretched out alongside my legs and I can see just how much my body has nourished her body.

When she gets sick (which has been often) sometimes my milk is the only thing she wants and I am able to hold her close and make her feel better.

It's so much easier today than it was in the beginning: There are no issues with latch or positioning. There are no middle of the night wake-ups. No pumping. I can even go out for an evening and not nurse and there's no engorgement, no danger of losing my milk supply.

It's about her and me.

There's no way I'm going to look back on this time and think 'I really wish I would have had less time nursing her, holding her, rocking her." There's no way I'm going to have any regrets.

She's not done yet. She's not ready to be done so I'm not ready for her to be done. We're just not done.

That is why I nurse my toddler. And it’s completely natural and normal.  

 

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Weaning is Not on a Light Switch

 

Just before a baby's first birthday or shorty thereafter, a breastfeeding mom will often begin to hear this: So, how long are you going to breastfeed? When do you plan to wean? 

For some reason, a very common belief in our society is that a baby only needs to breastfeed for a year. Often, people not only believe that is all the time needed, it's believed it's the longest they should nurse. But it's time to share with society that:

Weaning is NOT on a light switch

Just because a baby has celebrated her first birthday does not mean we can now flip a switch and the baby will stop wanting her mother's milk and the mother's body will stop making it. This is a process that takes time and is VERY different for every child and mother. 

Two possible theories for why a lot of society believes breast milk expires after one year: 

- Mothers are given the "okay" to provide cow's milk at 12 months so it is assumed that the cow's milk completely replaces breast milk.

- In the United States only 27% of babies are breastfed at 12 months and only 9.4% at 18 months. [Source]

So, if at one year and beyond breastfed babies are in the minority and there is a general belief that there's a substance that replaces breast milk then it is not surprising that these beliefs exist.

It would be nice if more of society had these facts: 

- According to the World Health Organization, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding for up to two years of age and beyond. [Source]

- Weaning is the introduction of solid food or any liquid other than breast milk. It is not ending breastfeeding. [Source]

This is not at all to say that breastfeeding for over a year is right for all mothers. It is only to say, that it would be beneficial if more of society understood this as a normal. Also, the common misunderstanding  that weaning is ending breastfeeding can lead to the expectation - even by breastfeeding mothers - that weaning can happen overnight when, in reality, it is something that takes time.

Ideally, children of all ages should be weaned gently and gradually

While there are some circumstances that require abrupt weaning, it should be avoided if at all possible. Ideally, children of all ages should be weaned gently and gradually. There are different approaches to weaning and these include mother-led weaning or baby-led weaning. There is also an option of combining both of these that can include a mother taking a more active role but still listening to her baby's needs. 

It is, again, important to remember that weaning begins when you introduce solids. The amount of breast milk (or infant formula) that is given should not change for the first 12 months of life just because solids are introduced. This early period of weaning is more for fun and practice. In time, babies will gradually have more solids and other liquids and the process of weaning will take place naturally. If you are ready to introduce a primary source of fluid nutrition other than breast milk (whether you are introducing infant formula, cow's milk, soy milk, etc):

Expect it to be a slow, gradual process: It would be best if a mother did not feel engorgement while weaning. This would mean that the baby is gradually demanding less and the mother's body is naturally adapting to this changing need.

Decrease by one nursing session at a time: The time between dropping a nursing (or pumping) session is a wide range and depends on several factors. According to kellymom.com this period should be at the least 3-7 days. However, it can take a month or longer before mom or baby is ready to drop the next feeding session.

If you are weaning from breast milk in a bottle, put the new form of nutrition in a sippy cup: New food, new cup. This decreases confusion and frustration if a baby is expecting breast milk and receives an unexpected substance instead. (This may not work if giving infant formula in place of breast milk).

It may be emotional for mom: Most people know that breastfeeding is a form of comfort to a baby, but, it is for mom too. The release of hormones a mother gets when breastfeeding are very powerful and ending this can be a challenging transition even when a mother is ready to wean. Some mothers experience feelings of depression during this time. (Remember that it is always recommended to seek help if you are experiencing ongoing depression).

Further into the process: It is not uncommon for mothers to no longer offer the breast but they also do not refuse it. This is a gradual process where the child will eventually stop asking and breastfeeding will end. Sometimes, a mother plays a more active role in the weaning process though by suggesting alternatives to nursing such as water, cow's milk, a snack or lots of snuggle, for example. 

The above tips are only a few things to consider when beginning the weaning process. Contact your local lactation consultant if you have any questions or concerns about weaning. 


 
This is the first part of a series on gentle weaning at Don't Lick Your Sister. Please be sure to check back for more thoughts on weaning and my personal journey of weaning two children. Please also keep in mind that the above is in no way passing judgement to a mother who fully weaned her baby before a year or may have chosen to not breastfeed. For more information on this go to Breastfeeding: The Case for Doing What's Right for You.

If you enjoyed this post be sure to Connect with Me so you don't miss the next post!

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 The above information is not intended to be used for medical advice and you should always consult your own healthcare team when making health decisions for yourself or your family. This post was written by Julie from her personal experiences breastfeeding. kellymom.com was used as a resource for some of the above information.

Introducing Solids

 

I was so uncertain about introducing solids with my oldest. Before her first bite, I did a lot of internet searches, discussed the recommendations with the pediatrician and talked to my friends who had already been through it. While I appreciated the info I received from everyone, I still felt incredibly unsure of the process. I just never felt like I had any firm answers on the "right" way to introduce solids.

The following are a few things to consider - no matter how you decide to introduce solids: 
                                                                         

Weaning is the introduction of any food other than breast milk. Click here for some great info on weaning. This is important because the moment you decide to introduce solids (or liquids other than breast milk) the weaning process has begun.

The only nutrition an infant needs the first year of life is either breast milk or infant formula. Solid food between 6 - 12 months is more for fun and experimentation (to prepare the baby for when solids will become the primary food source).

Since your baby doesn't need solid food during the first year, there's limited guidance on how much is "normal" to give. The important thing is to ensure the primary food is still breast milk or formula. For breastfeeding mamas - limiting solids is important to ensure so that you can maintain your supply and it is often recommended to nurse your baby before giving solids. (Please note - this was not always possible for me with our work, dinner and nursing schedule. Like everything else, you just have to find what works best for you and try not to stress!)

High risk choking hazards: whole nuts, sliced hot dogs, popcorn, raisins, grapes, etc. Basically whole, round foods.These foods are not recommended for initial foods and just use caution whenever deciding to give these.

Now I'm going to tell you how we introduced solids. But take it for what it's worth. It's pretty unlikely that you will do it the same way.  I spent so much time and effort figuring out how to start solids with my first child that I decided to write everything down so I would remember it for my next child. I was so glad I did! Plus, it's coming in pretty handy now so I can share it with you!

6 months: Start with rice cereal

No, it's not necessary to start with rice cereal and if you do an internet search you will be inundated with info on reasons to not start it. We chose organic, brown rice cereal and my husband actually ground our own up for our first several feeds and mixed in my breast milk. We were happy with this compromise.

• Start with 1-2 teaspoons of very thin rice cereal.
• Gradually increase amount to 1-2 tablespoons and increase consistency (using less breast milk or water).

6 and 1/2 months: After about a week or two of rice cereal we began to introduce "real" solids. 

I honestly don't consider the rice cereal my kids' first food. For Autumn it was home-made pureed butternut squash and for Amelia it was avocado. Avocado and banana are probably my 2 favorite first foods because you can just "fork mash" them and if you want them a little thinner, just add breast milk. It's about the easiest meal you can prepare.

• Start by giving 1-2 tbsp of food (depending on what the baby wants). Follow your baby's lead and watch for hunger and full signs.
• Introduce a new food every 3-4 days (I was paranoid about allergy risk)
• To change taste/texture mix 2 previously tried foods  
• Gradually increase consistency - working towards mashed potatoes and grain rice

Some of my favorite first foods: 

- avocado (fork mash)
- banana (fork mash)
- butternut squash (fantastic texture)
- peas
- apple sauce (one of the few jar foods my kids ate) 
- carrots
- black beans
- sweet potato
- pear
- peach 

My children both "helped" feed themselves from the very beginning. They would grab the spoon handle and direct it towards their mouth. Their aim was often bad so they also fed their nose, eyes and hair but that's all part of the fun! 

 8 months: Begin introducing very small, bite-size foods (including Cheerios). 

• Began eating foods that the entire family was having for dinner if a food had already "passed" the allergy test. If no foods qualified for this or weren't quite healthy enough then we just went to avocado or something else already tried.
• Continue some soft  foods such as apple sauce, yogurt, oatmeal, etc for spoon "practice." At this stage, we scooped the food on the spoon and laid it on the tray. Both of my children were successfully using a spoon at this point (but couldn't scoop it themselves and they mostly preferred the hand method). 
• Continue introducing foods every 3-4 days (basically until 12 months at which point they had tried most things). 
• Start having 2 solid food meals/day. Breakfast consisted of some banana and either dry Cheerios, oatmeal or rice cereal. Rice cereal given to finish the box we purchased. Dinner was usually a new food and part of the meal that was prepared for the family.

10 months: Everything is basically the same now with types of food.

• Started having 3 solid food meals/day.  
• Able to eat some raw bite size fruits/veggies at this stage

Food started becoming a social thing at this time since everyone else was eating a meal, my baby wanted to eat as well. All meals were still very small and lunch would consist of something like peas. There were many days that this meal was skipped though. The amount my kids nursed did NOT change from 6 months through 12 months.

Carrot straws

Some of my favorite foods for this stage:

- tofu
- yogurt
- oatmeal
- thin apple slices (peel off)
- beans (any kind) cut in half
- ground meat
- sweet peppers 
- mixed veggies yes - frozen, from a bag. Another simple go-to food. We just thaw them by running under cool water
- carrot straws - giving this will depend on your child's teeth/chewing skills but this was a perfect raw food for my kids. They also make broccoli slaw that they love too.

12 months: By this point able to eat nearly everything. Continue cutting to appropriate size.

• Added snack  .
• Begin whole milk from a sippy cup with meals. Started with 2 oz and worked up to 4 oz at meals. Both of my children breast fed beyond 12 months. At this point, they were still getting more breast milk than cow's milk. The weaning process continued for some time (more on that another day!)

Well, that's all there is to it. Simple, right?! Well, I guess yes and no. Just listen to your baby's cues and give quantities and meals based on their interest. We may have given smaller portions and started meals slower than many people do. My children remained happy, healthy and continued to gain weight and grow. That's really all that matters. Just remember that there really is no right way or wrong way to introduce solids.
 

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The above information is not intended to be used for medical advice and you should always consult your own healthcare team when making health decisions for yourself or your family.